In a 2013 survey conducted by the
Associated Press, they found that 80% of adults struggle with joblessness,
poverty, near-poverty or reliance on welfare for at least parts of their lives.
While you may see yourself as good
parents, stats don’t lie.
Eighty percent parents clearly are failing their kids.
For this 80%, the adult Dream is
dead and dependency is their only refuge.
After years of studying the habits,
thinking and behaviors that 177 self-made millionaires and 233 poor individuals
learned from their parents.
I discovered many things that
separate the rich from the poor.
Below are ten key areas I identified
where parents are failing their children:
Fail #1 – Toxic Friends
Children are influenced by their
environment and that includes who they associate with on a regular basis.
The parents of those 177 self-made
millionaires in my study were wholly preoccupied with who their kids associated
with.
Were their friends good or bad
influences?
Were their friends exposing them to
good or bad habits?
Were their friends good or bad
students?
The friends your child spends the
most time with are the ones you need to be worried about.
How well do you know your child’s
friends? How well do you know their parents?
If the answer is not very well, then
you are failing your kids.
Fail #2 – You Children Don’t Read
How many books does your child read
a week, a month or a year?
In my study, sixty-three percent of
those self-made millionaires were required by their parents to read two or more
books a month.
But not just any books.
They had to read books that
increased their knowledge in some way.
What books should you be making your
kids read?
- Biographies of other successful people.
- History or historical fiction books.
- Science fiction or science-related books.
- Hobby books.
- Personal development books.
- Literary classics.
- Philosophy books.
- Sports legends.
- Travel books.
It didn’t end there.
The parents of those self-made
millionaires engaged their children in a discussion about the books they were
making them read.
They became accountability partners
for their children. Famous Neurosurgeon and Presidential candidate Dr. Ben
Carson’s mother did this.
Dr. Carson was raised in the ghettos
of Detroit and his mom made both he and his brother read every day and then
required them to provide her with a weekly summary.
Are you making your kids read every
day?
If not, then you are failing your
kids.
Fail #3 – Poor Health Habits
In my study, the parents of
self-made millionaires made their kids eat right and exercise every day.
Seventy percent limited their
consumption of junk food to less than 300 calories each day.
Too much junk food leads to obesity,
can result in Type II Diabetes and can damage your child’s heart and arteries.
Seventy-six percent of the parents
of those self-made millionaires required their children to exercise thirty
minutes or more each day.
The predominant exercise was
cardio-related: running, jogging, etc.
Blood’s major purpose in the body is
to carry nutrients (glucose and oxygen) to the cells and to carry waste out through
our lungs in the form of carbon dioxide.
When we exercise we increase blood
flow throughout the body.
The more you exercise the greater
the blood flow. This means more nutrients and more waste removal.
Exercise also increases blood flow
into the Dentrate Gyrus.
The Dentrate Gyrus is part of our
brain’s Hippocampus, a region involved in memory formation and neurogenisis
(birth of new brain cells).
Exercise also stimulates the
production of Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDFN).
BDFN is miracle grow for brain
cells.
Exercise is, in many respects, like
candy for the brain.
Are you feeding your kids the right
candy? If not, then you are failing your kids.
Fail #4 – Video Screen Overload
In my study, 67% of the parents of
self-made millionaires limited their kids TV time to one hour or less a day.
Other modern day time wasters like
cell phones, Facebook, video games and iPads were not in vogue at the time
these self-made millionaires were children, but they are just as wasteful.
According to the American Academy of
Pediatrics, the average 8-10 year old spends around eight hours a day staring
at video screens: TVs, cell phones, iPads, video games, computers, etc.
Most of this time is non-learning
time, which means it’s wasted time.
That time should be put to better
use such as reading, studying, school club activities, volunteering, etc.
Do you limit how much time your kids
spend staring at video screens?
If not, then you are failing your
kids.
Fail #5 – No Control Over Words and
Emotions
Eighty-one percent of the self-made
millionaires in my study were taught by their parents to control their words
and emotions.
As a result, these millionaires were
able to build strong, powerful relationships with others.
Their parents made them understand
that not every thought needs to come out of their mouth and not every emotion
needs to be expressed.
Doing so damages relationships;
relationships that could otherwise open important doors for your children down
the road.
Are you teaching your kids to
control their thoughts and emotions?
If not, then you are failing your
kids.
Fail #6 – No Purpose in Life
Eighty percent of the self-made
millionaires pursued some major purpose in life.
This was some dream or vision they
were chasing.
They built goals around their dreams
and never quit trying.
Having a main purpose in life, I
discovered from my research, creates persistence, a key success trait.
Where parents fail most often is in
pigeon-holing their kids into two or three activities, typically sports
activities.
How can a child ever find out where
their talents lie if they are limited to two or three activities?
Only by exposing your children to
dozens of activities during their childhood will they be able to find their
inner talents.
Everyone has unique, special
talents.
Are you exposing your kids to
different activities every year? If not, then you are failing your kids.
Fail #7 – Negative Thinking
Seventy-one percent of the self-made
millionaires in my study were indoctrinated by their parents to be optimistic
about life.
They were taught to believe in
themselves. As a result, they enthusiastically pursued their dreams and goals
as adults.
Their optimism infected everyone
around them. They became magnets for other success-minded people.
This helped them in creating teams
that would eventually lead them to success.
Are your children being raised with
a positive mental outlook? If not, then you are failing your kids.
Fail #8 – Me First
In order to get, you must first
give.
You must give value to others if you
want to succeed in life.
Giving always comes first. It was no
surprise that 79% of the self-made millionaires in my study were required to
volunteer for charities or non-profit groups when they were young.
This forged a habit out of giving
their time, money and expertise.
Many of the individuals who run
non-profits or charities are successful people.
They have developed strong
relationships with other success-minded people.
These contacts can help open doors
for your children.
Are your children volunteering?
If not, then you are failing your
children.
Fail #9 – Entitlement Mindset
Entitlement Thinking is a Poverty
Habit that creates dependence.
The successful individuals in my
study avoided Entitlement Thinking.
They were raised to believe that the
world did not owe them a living.
They were raised to believe that
they alone were responsible for providing for themselves.
Entitlement Thinking is a cancer
that will program your mind for poverty.
Are your kids being raised with an
Entitlement Mindset?
If so, then you are failing your
kids.
Fail #10 – I am a Victim – Poverty
by Circumstance
Thirty-one percent of
the millionaires in my study came from abject poverty.
Forty-five percent came from the
middle-class.
That’s 76%. These 177 self-made
millionaires were able to rise above their impoverished or modest financial
circumstances in life and become rich.
They didn’t do it by blaming others,
the government, Wall Street or rich people.
They did it by taking responsibility for their lives and
breaking free of the habits, thinking and behavior that limit your success in
life.
When blaming others for your
circumstances becomes accepted doctrine, you’re resting your butt on a broken
stool.
That stool will eventually collapse,
dragging you to the ground.
Accepting individual responsibility
for your life, your habits, your behaviors, your choices and your thinking
gives you a ladder to help you climb out of your current circumstances.
Blaming others for your life
circumstances relegates you and your children to a life of poverty, since you
have accepted the fact that your poverty is outside your control.
You were born poor and there are
forces at work who are intent on keeping you poor.
You’re a victim of poverty.
Are you raising your kids to believe
that they are victims of society?
If you are, then you are failing
your kids.
It’s up to parents to mentor their
kids to succeed in life.
If parents don’t step in and mentor
them, someone else will.
Someone who may not have their best
interest at heart.
They’re your kids and they’re your
legacy.
Make that legacy matter.
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